guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
