call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
