I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
