Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You need Xanax blowdarts
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Bring me that man meat
and you fell through a lawn chair
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
