scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
