Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
