This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I love you. Go after that dick
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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