my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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