meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
