Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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