You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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