I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
