I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
