That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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