I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
