I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
