Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
