sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
