I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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