Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
