Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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