Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
