Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
