Just cropdusted the office
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize