I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
