can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
