Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
