Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
