Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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