Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
