my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
