Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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