Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
