when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
