I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
