Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
organizing the empties. That sober.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
