I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
