That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
