My first STD was from a foam party
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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