you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
