How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
