I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
