It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
