Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish you could order shots online.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
