and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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