I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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