i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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