ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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