Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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