i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
